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"How Much Does Your Thoughts Shape Your Identity?"

I have been struggling a lot with self worth at the moment and whether I am good enough.

Australian County singer Kasey Chambers in 2001 on her album Barricades & Brickwalls had a hit song with “Not Pretty Enough”

The lyrics seem to resonate with the masses.

Am i not pretty enough

Is my heart too broken

Do I cry too much

Am I too outspoken”

listen to the song here

Those struggling in life, have asked those or similar questions, sometimes to themselves and sometimes to those around them. This songs exposes the fact that self worth and rejection happens to everyone in life at some stage, and fame and fortune does not hinder it.

The mind is very powerful. There are many self help books on the mind and trying to overcome the negative thoughts that occur and that negative thinking can cause negative things to us. This is not a new concept it seems.

Proverbs 4:23 “Be careful what you thin; because your thought run your life”

Proverbs 23:7 “For as a man thinks in his heart so he is”

Buddha “ The mind is everything. What you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine your create.”

Napoleon Hill “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

I know for myself

  • if i am running in late i get all the red lights

  • If I think the day is going to be bad it generally is

  • If I feel good and happy, things seem to go my way

Sadly, it is much more complicated for some than just jumping out of bed and saying “today is going to be a good day.” It is a lot more complicated than that.

There are some, who seem to be defined by their (or their parents) mistakes. They grow being told they aren’t good enough, or their marks are good enough or they were a mistake and never intended to be born. Maybe they are compared to a sibling or they haven’t found what they are good at.

I don’t have answers, I am not an expert and can only ever talk about what has helped me when I have felt like this.

Short answer. - Ice Coffee, fruit and nut chocolate, shower and sleep. (Only a short term solution)

I have found sitting down at the end of each day and writing down something i am grateful for, something I did well and something I could improve on, has helped me realise I do have something to offer in life. When the days are particularly hard, it good to look back at the good things and also having to find something positive on a bad day helps keep things in perspective.

I do know when my mind is happy - I am happy.

Another thing I do is I help people where I can. Helping someone seems to release something in the brain that makes me feel amazing - whether a stranger or a friend I find that focusing on someone else stops me from thinking about myself and my problems.

People have described me as selfless and soemtimes it is used against me as a bad thing - I do know that you can't please everyone.

Bad thoughts happen and so do bad days, working out ways to deal with them is individual and you may need someone to talk to who can be honest and truthful with you (and may Occasionally tell you what you don't want to hear) these people are priceless and if you someone like that in your life you are very special.

I would be interested to know what you do for yourself on those bad days. It may just help someone else?

We need to normalise having bad days and take away the stigma.


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