This is not a show that yours truly would usually watch, however the promo fascinated me, so i decided to watch the drama between Lucinda and Timothy. He had been vulnerable and showed his true feelings and really opened up and had started t let Lucinda in and then up goes the wall with all the excuses. “I need time to myself” “Im exhausted.” Timothy goes off alone leaving Lucinda in his house with his dogs .
While in a neutral venue, he seemed to be open to vunerability and let some of the walls down. He did admit it exhausted him emotionally. However in is own domain, he was moody, grumpy and gave Lucinda the impression she was not welcome. He was back being comfortable in his own world and nothing caring about how anyone else (Lucinda) was feeling. The episode ended with him walking away, and Lucinda deciding she did in fact deserve better. She was wanting someone who was interested in her needs being met as opposed to having to walk on eggshells. How this will end will be interesting and i loook forward to hearing what the experts have to say.
It was like i was looking in a mirror, a past relationship of mine was very much similar, vulnerability, talk of future, then out of nowhere abandonment and silence - with myself questioning what had i done wrong. I felt the pain that Lucinda felt, i understood her confusion, and like her I have questioned myself. When away from own domain things were great. But as soon as we we’re apart, he became comfortable within his walls and like Lucinda, I had been patient, listened intently and walked on eggshells allowing for him to be himself and , all while I felt alone and abandoned, often ignored. It is something I still grapple with now. Is it a case that once they are in their own domain, they feel like they are back in control of their feelings?
CS Lewis wrote “To love is to be vunerable.” Why is vunerability so elusive? More importantly why is it that men seem to have an issue with more so than women.
Women, it seems stereotypically have always be shown to meet together and talk and chat about life, love, children and this has been a good forum to talk with trusted friends about what is troubling them and having someone to listen to them. While “gossiping” women’s groups can be made fun of, they seem to be essential to the emotionally well being of women.
The Good Men Project explains that “men are taught from a young age that they should be strong and not show their emotions …..”Men who are in intimate relationships may have trouble being vulnerable with their partners as they don’t want their partners to see them as week The would rather keep themselves guarded against the outside world and keep their partner at a distance rather than risk being hurt emotionally”.
The fear the Good Men project says is the reaction they may get, and that men will only open up if they know you can be trusted with the information. You need to be a safe space for them.
Type “male vulnerability” into google and there are pages and pages s of websites with many varying opinions and thoughts from relationship experts. They do however,, all do agree that vulnerability is one of the essential keys to the success of a relationship as it builds a connection along with trust.
I wish I had answers to this question, but I don’t . I do know that i will be watching MAFS to find out how this will play out and if i can further learn anything. What I do know is that a relationship only works with 2 people who are invested.
Ultimately it will come down to Timothy and if he is prepared to do the work to let Lucinda into his life or if he will just keep the walls up and let no one in.
I am interested in hearing your thought on this.
Joanne